When “Suck it up, Buttercup”
isn’t cutting it…
Therapy in Billings and Surrounding Areas – Telehealth for All of Montana
“How did I get here?”
You ask yourself that question all too often.
“This isn’t what I had planned, back when I had a plan.”
But here we are.
On an unfamiliar path with nary a map in site…
You thought you’d have a satisfying career by now, instead of just a job they expect you to attend regularly.
When Linda in accounts receivable stops by your desk to share gossip, or Mike from sales comes by to update you on the most recent award his kid earned, you just want to scream and run away.
You feel like that clever protagonist in a horror/comedy series or the person in The Office who is always making eye contact with the camera and sharing a raised eyebrow look of disbelief.
You thought life would be different.
In junior high, you spelled out your crush’s name in bubble letters on the back of your Trapper Keeper and imagined your “Happily Ever After.”
The 2.5 kids (however that was supposed to work), the white picket fence (who even does that anymore??), and the spouse always greeted you after a long day with a gentle kiss and a caring shoulder.
Instead…
Your “relationship” (yes, it’s in quotes) is non-existent.
You thought you understood the idea of “two ships passing in the night,” but no one ever mentioned the ships would throw out passive-aggressive shots as they sailed by.
This isn’t the environment you wanted to raise your kiddos in. Like most parents, you want them to have a better life than you did, but that seems almost out of reach.
You are at the end of a frayed knot and hanging on for dear life.
The kids didn’t come with instruction manuals…
…and though every soul on social media is more than happy to point out what you’re doing wrong, none of them have offered anything helpful.
The kids are always dirty, hungry, tired, angry, or some insane combination of all those things you hadn’t even realized was possible.
You are exhausted in ways you didn’t know was possible. Running from one errand, meeting, or appointment, you pull up to your driveway, turn off the engine, and sit for a second.
You take a deep breath and try to prepare yourself for whatever chaos you’ll walk into.
Then life throws unexpected curve balls…
… like terrible news delivered in an exam room while wearing only a paper gown and socks.
Even days later, you are still attempting to process what it all means. What about your plans, your hopes, your dreams, your carefully crafted Vision Board?
Not only is this not what you expected, it’s scary!
Therapy isn’t something we do in Montana.
“I can handle it.”
“What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.”
“Get back on when you’re bucked off. Cowboy up.”
“Everyone has it tough, and they get over it. What’s wrong with you?”
“You don’t need to be airing your dirty laundry to some stranger.”
“The wounds are a long way from your heart; you won’t bleed to death.”
“Suck it up, Buttercup.”
Yeah? How’s that working out for you, princess?
But maybe they’re wrong.
Sometimes the strongest thing we can do is ask for help. It doesn’t mean we are weak, or worthless, or failing.
It simply means that you are strong enough to reach out and take the outstretched hand that’s waiting to pull you out of the sticky, grey gumbo to more solid ground.
Hi, I’m Kirsten.
I’ve lived in Montana all my life, and I know all the cliches we are told (and tell ourselves!) that stop us from getting the help we need – for our marriage, for our children, for ourselves.
But, maybe none of those things are true. (“Pull yourself up by the bootstraps”?? How would that even work? Are we supposed to levitate??)
Remember the adage about child-rearing – it takes a village? But we don’t have villages anymore. We have our own little homesteads in a walk-up apartment or in our suburban ranch-style home, where we isolate ourselves from our neighbors’ judging eyes and wonder when we will finally have “enough.”
Let me help you realize your true potential and find that spark you used to have. One of the fundamental techniques I use in every therapy session is working, as a therapist, to show “unconditional positive regard.” I don’t have all the answers about the right path for your life – but I believe you do.
You are the only expert on what it’s like to live in your brain. My job is to remind you how amazing and strong you really are!